How To Fill the Void
by Larkawolfgirl
Summary: He was surrounded by nothing but darkness, isolated from all sources of light. Hate became his shield. He may come across as a hard shell but deep down he just wanted someone to hold. "Can you see the dark? Can you fix the broken? Can you feel... can you feel my heart?" Contains yaoi, non-con, S&M and other rough sexual occurances. VanVen
1. Birth

**Author's Note: **I started writing this before rewatching the scene that shows Vanitas' birth. I saw that it was different than I portrayed it and have changed it somewhat but have left it for the most part. From what wiki/Vanitas says about the novels, Vanitas is more vulnerable than he comes across in the game and I want him to appear that way. Therefore, in here he has been thrown out of Ventus instead of sliding out of him. I hope that Vanitas does not seem too OOC but I want to bring out his vulnerabilities. I'm also not so sure of Xehanort's dialogue.

_Can you help the hopeless?_

_Well, I'm begging on my knees,_

_Can you save my bastard soul?_

_Will you wait for me?_

_I'm scared to get close and I hate being alone._

_I long for that feeling to not feel at all._

_The higher I get, the lower I'll sink._

_I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim._

_Can you feel my heart?_

_Can you hear the silence?_

_Can you see the dark?_

_Can you fix the broken?_

_Can you feel... can you feel my heart?_

_-_Can You Feel My Heart by Bring Me the Horizon

The boy opened his eyes taking the world in for the first time. His mind was hazy. He had the inclination that this was not the start of his life but he could not seem to remember this previous life. He lied upon a desolate wasteland of cracked gravel. He stared up at the burning sun and wondered how he knew so much about the working of the world, such as that the sun circles the earth, but knew so little about his own self. He felt emptiness within himself, as if he was not completely there. He checked his body. It was a black mesh of naked limbs which startled him, but nothing seemed to be missing or damaged. Why did he feel as if he were missing something? he wondered.

His eyes felt drawn to the body he discovered near him. This body looked beautiful. The boy had spiky blond hair and smooth pearly skin. This boy radiated light where he radiated darkness. He looked back at the black mesh that was himself with revulsion. This boy of light sported a white and grey jacket with a red collar that was unzipped but fastened together in the middle of his chest with a pin and a pair of whitish grey pants. This boy seemed perfect in every way except for the fact that he appeared to be sleeping. Movement on the other side of him caught his attention. A dark skinned man touched the sleeping boy. He shivered when he first met the man's eyes but he did not feel fear exactly; it was more a sense of uneasiness that filled him.

"Took you long enough. I was worried I might have broken you both." The newcomer seemed to be more muttering to himself than actually addressing the confused boy. "Well, well. What shall we call you, then?" The man thought for a moment before a glint reached his eyes. "Ah, yes. How about Vanitas? Similar to Ventus but true to your nature. One empty yet full of vanity."

"Vanitas" the boy repeated feeling the word upon his tongue. "Who are you? Do you know me? How did I get here? Who is he?" He hated the pleading tone to his voice.

"I am Xehanort, but you shall simply call me Master."

"Yes, Master."

"You are born from the one known as Ventus." Xehanort pointed to the sleeping boy. " Try hard and I'm sure you can remember. You are the darkness from inside that heart."

Vanitas closed his eyes and focused his mind. He saw himself surrounded by black beings not too unlike himself. He could see a duller version of Ventus' white perfection which was his own body.

"Please don't do this, Master. I'm not strong enough." He heard a voice, his voice, but different from his current one say.

"No. It is because you are trying to hold it in. Let the dark impulses waken in the pit of your heart. Release them, here and now! Sharpen your fear into rage. You must! If you do not let the storm within you run its course, it will wipe you from the face of the world, make no mistake! Do it. Embrace the darkness. Produce for your Master the X-blade!" Came the unmistakable voice of Master Xehanort.

"ehh!" He yelled as the dark masses engulfed him.

Vanitas reopened his eyes with certainty now. He was a part of Ventus. He was the dark side of him, the imperfections, the shadows…the emptiness. It hit him with full force. He was a hollow shell. That is why he had felt empty; he was nothing but pure darkness. Why not let the darkness take him then, let him disappear into that which bore him? What could he possibly live for in the shadow-as the shadow- of this perfect light being? The desire to disappear and purposelessness overtook him causing his body to shake. The feeling swelled within him as it manifested into solid shape. What slithered from him was a bluish black little creature with long grey claws and red eyes. It stood on two legs and resembled the creatures he now remembered as heartless.

"Interesting" Xehanort remarked at the new appearance. "Do you know how you created this being?"

"All I did was feel envious of what I now lack."

"Try it again. Make another" Xehanort demanded. Vanitas could not believe what he was asking of him. The creature was ugly, vile. Had he really given birth to it? He truly was a disgusting being. The feeling remerged. A second identical creature appeared.

"Very interesting. Shall we call them unversed?"

"Yes Master."

The creatures repulsed him but he knew he could not show weakness to this man. Xehanort's words repeated in his head. _One empty yet full of vanity_. How right that name was. All he could do was try and feel vain even if it was only an act. That seemed to be the only thing that he could do for now. Still the creatures seemed so impure to him. On impulse he rushed forward, flicking his wrist causing the keyblade that he remembered using when he was still a part of Ventus to appear, and slashed out at the unversed. They dissipated as if they had never existed to begin with but at that same moment an immense pain overtook Vanitas.

Once the pain subsided what he found where even more unversed. "No it can't be," he thought. He could not destroy these creatures. He wondered vaguely if it was their deaths itself that hurt him or only the fact that it was his hand dealing the blow. Hate suddenly welled inside him. Hate for himself and for this perfect being. How dare he be so perfect and carefree while he was left in such a pitiful state? He lunged at the sleeping boy with the intent to kill when Master Xehanort blocked his way.

"No you don't, boy."

"Ha." Vanitas spat out at that remark. In what way was he a boy? He was only a mesh of black limps now. "And why is that? You were the one who gave me life, is that not correct?"

"Yes, yes it is. I take it you don't recall why it is that I separated you?"

"You had wanted me, us, to forge the X-blade, right? But wasn't that why you gave me life, because I can accept the darkness. Because I am darkness." The last remark hurt.

"Yes and no. I did need you but I need him as well. You too must become one once again in order to form the X-blade. You too must battle therefore you must wait for him to recover."

Vanitas stared at the boy of light with spite. "I don't think I can hold myself back. We need to be separated."

"Very well. I will send him away. We can train him to make him stronger. Then once he is ready you can battle him to your heart's content creating the X-blade. You too will reunite. You will be whole again and we shall gain the power we need to save all the inhabitants of the world."

"Yes, that sounds like a perfect plan Master." He felt a spark of hope. He only had to hold on for a while. His future was not completely bleak. He would be whole again. He would also help to save the world.

**Author's Note: **please let me know what you think of my portrayal of Vanitas. Do you think he is too soft? He will get harsher in the next chapter, hopefully. The wiki said that he was sadder at his birth than hateful and right now he is still somewhat in shock of how perfect Ventus appears. Did Xehanort's dialogue seem okay? Any suggestions are welcome since I haven't planned much of this since the idea struck me just this morning.


	2. Change

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything Kingdom Hearts or any of the characters.

**An: **This took longer than I had planned. I ended up playing Alice Madness Returns in 3 days and had some family issues. I was going to make this longer but because of the delay I decided to cut it. Next chapter will contain non-con/rape lemon. I am having some difficulty with all the details that surround this. To be honest I watched a walkthrough of Birth By Sleep and not even the whole thing. I only watched what seemed to be the most important scenes so that isn't helping me with writing this either. I wanted this to be as canon as possible but I'm just going to diverge somewhat from canon because of the difficult nature of Kingdom Hearts.

Xehanort had removed Ventus leaving him with someone named Eraqus. Vanitas could care less about where the boy had been sent. All he cared about was that that light would no longer taunt him. What did worry him was that Ventus was still lifeless like a doll when he departed. How could one in such a state fight him?

While contemplating this he was suddenly over taken by the purest light he had ever known. It washed over him causing him for that brief moment to feel whole and pure. Every fiber of his darkness was cleansed. However, it ended as quickly as it had begun. The light was snatched away leaving him alone once more with the darkness that was his soul. In that dark void he faintly heard a voice calling "Let's open the door" and an excruciating pain crawled upon his skin as if it was reshaping itself. Whereas the light had only temporarily affected him, he could tell that this pain had permanently transformed him.

He felt more rage now than ever before. He had memories of being complete but now he knew what it was like to be bathed in the light. Even if they were united he would never experience that pure light that Ventus was graced with. Ventus. Then he knew with every fiber of his being that Ventus had awoken. He had been fixed by the light. The light healed the wounds of this one, while the darkness only sought to consume him.

Glancing into the full length mirror within the bedroom Xehanort had lent to him he found that his features had in fact changed. His previously indistinguishable features were now as defined as that of Ventus and Xehanort. He could now pass as a normal human being. He still had a noticeable darkness to his skin but it was pale enough to pass as human skin. Eyes that used to be red were now a piercing gold sheen. He had a mop of raven hair upon his head which spiked in every direction defying the laws of gravity. He slowly began to touch his naked flesh. He had yet to touch human skin in this new incarnation but it felt as he remembered it. It was smooth and pliable but tough enough for protection. He opened his mouth in awe and noticed he had bright white teeth. "How did I become so normal looking? I feel as I did before but my appearance screams otherwise." He wondered but he wouldn't complain. He could easily blend into society now without making a ruckus. He ran his hands along his now well-defined musculature. The rises and dips in his flesh felt so odd to him. "This is my body?" He realized that the body alone would not be enough. He could not parade out in society butt naked. He needed to form clothing somehow.

The thought of trying to manipulate his darkness occurred to him. He had created those unversed so why could he not create something as simple as clothing? He tried to pull the strands of darkness outward and then back toward him to form the clothing but each time he did so the strands would break and slither back within him. Irritation built within him. Why the hell did have to go through this while Ventus had everything so easy? He had remained in their body, been graced by the light, and now had even been taken into the care of that Eraqus guy. Meanwhile here he was battling against his own pain and darkness, having to use such effort just to look somewhat normal. His anger sparked once again. How he hated Ventus. He knew that it was not Ventus' fault but nevertheless he hated him. He had stolen all the light of the world from him.

He hated him and wanted so badly to release this anger through inflicting pain upon his lost half. He didn't want to admit but at the same time he just wished that they could be reunited. Having light nearby that cannot touch you is still better than no light, right? He wanted to be complete, to stop feeling so helpless and hurt. He focused on this hurt and pain.

The tendrils of darkness seemed to sizzle with power. He tired yet again to form the strands into a semblance of clothing. The strands surrounded his skin joining as if an invisible hand were sowing them together. They felt snug against him as if they were true cloth. As he moved his muscles the tendrils moved with him perfectly making this covering more efficient than real clothing. He looked into the mirror again to find that the darkness had even colored itself into true patterns. The body of the fabric was black but there were strands of red outlining his muscle lines. They almost resembled veins. There was a flowing piece attached to his middle with a red belt. There were leggings and then padded red boots. The only part of his body not covered was his head. That human looking head. He knew better than to believe he was human. He was darkness.

This plan needed to be sped along. He exited the room in search of Xehanort. He found him in the hall staring out the window.

"Master, when can we begin training Ventus?"

"Patience, Vanitas. He has yet to even awaken." Xehanort did not even grace him with a look. Instead his gaze seemed to distance further.

"No. I know that he has. Look at me Master" Xehanort turned to face his disciple taking in his new human form.

"You look human. Interesting. And your clothes. How did this happen?"

"I am not completely sure. I felt Ventus awaken and then light engulfed me. I heard a voice saying "Let's open the door" which brought on pain. The next thing I knew I looked like a human. I tried to manipulate the darkness and managed to form this covering." Xehanort seemed pleased.

"Very good. Ventus is awake which means the plan can commence. And you can travel outside more freely."

"When can I begin strengthening Ventus?"

"Patience. I cannot let Eraqus become suspicious of me. We must leave him in Eraqus' hands for a while. However, I will be there with a moderate influence. We will leave him be for a while, allow him to learn about the light. This will also strengthen him. Now how about I teach you how to better control darkness?"

Time passed and boredom easily set in on Vanitas. He thought that this plan would give his life purpose but he was doing nothing. He could better control his strands of darkness but he was merely wasting time until Ventus could battle him. He had watched Xehanort on his way to Master Eraqus' from the shadows. In an attempt to hide his identity he had forged a helmet in order to cover himself completely. It had worked for a while but on the third day of watching Xehanort had taken notice to him.

"Trying to spy on me are you? That is you, is it not Vanitas?"

"I apologize Master. I am curious about Ventus and wondered where he was residing."

"That is alright, but I forbid you from entering here. Eraqus must not know that I am continuing my search for the X-blade."

"Yes Master" he answered reluctantly. He wanted nothing more than to glance again upon the face that used to be his own. He had obeyed, for a time at least. Two weeks later he could not stand it any longer.

He snuck away that night while Master Xehanort was sleeping. He opened a portal as Xehanort had taught him. The darkness rippled before completely engulfing him. After a split second the darkness yielded to a small opening of light. He waved his hand over the space causing it to increase in size. He easily slid through entering a hall within Eraqus' dwelling. Hopefully all would be asleep at this time so that he would not disappoint his Master by spoiling his plans. Now he had to find Ventus but that would be a simple matter with their connection. He closed his eyes and focused on Ventus. He felt a tug from his left and followed it.


	3. Taint

**AN: **This took longer than I meant for it to. I was at my mom's which made writing this difficult because it was hard to focus. Then I moved into my new apartment and had to adjust to a new schedule. But anyway I finally sat down to finish it today and I am pretty pleased with how it turned out. I'm not exactly sure where this shall be going now plot/canon wise. I know how I want the relationship to work but not how to work it around the canon plot so I guess we'll just have to see what I do XD

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Kingdom Hearts or the Bring Me the Horizon song which I quoted previously.

He stared at the sleeping blonde in relief. He was safe and in one piece. He lay sprawled upon the mattress, the bedspread half falling off, his legs peeking out from the left corner of the sheets, face turned so that his drool fell into the white pillow. If it weren't for the pain that filled Vanitas he might have laughed at the sight. He looked so innocent and peaceful. His hair was ruffled into odd angles and drool hung from his mouth but he still seemed angelic. He could make out the invisible light radiating from him in the darkness of the night. Pale moonlight shone in through the tilted blinds adding to the affect. He wanted to bath in this warmth, this grace. He felt a spark of something he hadn't felt before, lust. He gazed upon the pale exposed skin and wondered what it would be like to run his hands over it. What it would feel like to taste that salty flesh. He knew that if he touched that perfection it would taint losing its luster.

Sorrow filled him as it had so many times thus far in his short life. It boiled deep inside him turning slowly to rage. He never seemed too far from these two emotions. He wondered yet again why it was that he had been damned to this pitiful existence of loneliness and hatred. Why was Ventus the one blessed with the light, friendship, and peace of mind? He could sense the boy's feelings no matter where he tried to hide. He could feel the warmth he felt but it did not fill him as it should for it was not his own. He knew that this boy had those he treasured, those he may even love. It was so unfair. He was forced into the shadows by his mere existence while this boy was free to do as he pleased. He suddenly wanted nothing than to sully that brightness.

He forced his tendrils of darkness back within his body but left the mask set on his face. He wanted to taste that salty flesh but he still could not let his master down. He could not allow the boy to discover his identity. At least not yet. He could also not have the boy fight against him or to wake the other residents of the estate. He curved strands of darkness outward fashioning a restraint resembling a scarf but of pure blackness and, though still soft, thick and durable. It would not do to leave visible marks that could be questioned later. Then he fashioned a panel gag covering the boy's mouth. Being made of darkness left it smoother than a normal panel gag because it required no buckles of any kind. Instead it simply rested securely in place by Vanitas' own will. Realizing his sudden impediment to his airflow Ventus awoke.

His eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness. He took in Vanitas' shadowy naked form and began to squirm. His restrained arms twisted just barley causing him to strain harder breathing heavily through his nose. His beady eyes stared on in horror as Vanitas leaned in near his face.

"Be good and stay quite. You wouldn't want someone to hear you would you?" Ventus shook his head as tears welled in his eyes. "Good." Vanitas almost purred with anticipation. He could sense Ventus' desperation. He climbed atop the boy pressing his muscular form against him. He ran his hands under Ventus' nightshirt pushing it up to expose his nipples. Taking one in each hand he tweaked them roughly gaining a reaction from the blonde. The feeling vibrated diluted through their bond reaching him. He ground his semi-erection against Ventus' clothed leg causing the sensation to increase. The mutual sensations intensified his lust. He may never be whole but in this one act their sensations could be shared and for the briefest of time they could be connected. He pushed the boy's boxes down and lowered himself so that Ventus would not see him. Knowing that this would be painful he would slightly prepare the boy. It was not out of kindness (he still held his earlier rage). He intended to pollute this brightness not break it. Though it angered him he knew he could not destroy this light. It was the only light he had.

With his face angled so that Ventus would not see, he lifted the boy's body upward, wielded his mask to open, and he began to lick his virgin hole. Ventus squirmed uncomfortably as tiny gasps escaped the gag. Vanitas hummed to himself as he tasted the sultry skin. His tongue flicked the hole causing it to twitch in response. He circled around it before plunging inside. The walls slowly relaxed opening wider.

Pulling away he replaced his mask and positioned himself. Ventus released a strangled cry as he pushed in slowly. Ventus felt like he was being ripped apart. Vanitas struggled to restrain himself from moving. He wanted so badly to just grind himself forward ignoring any damage he caused. Ventus deserved it. He deserved to feel the pain he lived with every waking moment. Every moment except now. Now though still filled with anger and hatred there was a dull satisfaction. He had claimed back his other self. He would always be this boy's first. He would never be forgotten. Impatient he grabbed onto Ventus' legs pushing them up higher and himself further inside in the process. Ventus cried behind the gag as he dug his nails into the fleshy thighs. Vanitas began moving slowly at first but gradually sped up increasing his hold on his thighs with each thrust.

Ventus' eyes bulged as he was filled over and over by this stranger. He was so confused by what was happening. Who was this boy? Why was he doing this to him? Why was his body reacting the way that it was? His own penis was hardening with each thrust and he wanted so badly to touch it. He had no memory of pleasuring himself but he had so few memories that meant nothing. His past self could have done so daily for all he knew. His flesh ached as if begging for touch. Tears welled in his eyes, not from his defilement but from desire. What was wrong with him? He should be repulsed by this stranger. He should be hurt by being treated as nothing but an object, but he wasn't. He was oddly enjoying himself and he hated that fact. What would the others think if they knew? Not only was he being raped and enjoying it, but by a boy. Was he gay? He didn't know but he did know that his insides were craving more and more of that lovely hardness. He whimpered as loud as he could trying to ask for this stranger to sped up.

Vanitas heard the whimper but thought it was one of displeasure. Their pleasures mingled together through the bond and he was too lost by now to notice the lack of pain. "Aw, does poor little Ventus not like it? Well too bad. You deserve this asshole. I'm gonna fuck you until you won't even be able to walk tomorrow." He grabbed ahold of his erection squeezing it tightly. Ventus' whined again in pleasure. _Finally!_ Vanitas was done playing nice. He pushed in hard burying himself deeper than before. Ventus' pupils nearly rolled back as he hit him just so. His body began to shiver. He wished he could hold this stranger as he assaulted him. He wanted so much but all he could manage was to rock him hips to meet the thrusts. Vanitas noticed the movement and caught on.

"Oh, you like that slut? Well, okay then." He pounded incessantly into his hole while pumping his engorged erection. _Yes!_ Ventus' mind screamed. He knew it was irrational but he wanted to touch this stranger. He wanted to feel all of him. The little skin that smacked him with each movement was filled with welcoming heat. More than anything, though, he wanted to meet this stranger's eyes. He wanted to know what he was feeling. What would this stranger look like? His body was muscular and attractive. He wondered if his face would be just as captivating. Would his eyes be cold and calculating like his voice? He shivered trying to imagine it. He closed his eyes focusing on his delusion. A boy his age stared back at him with greedy shining eyes. They glowed with fiery passion just as his prostrate was hit yet again spilling him over the edge. Vanitas slammed into him twice more before he climaxed as well. The warm seed filled Ventus. He hummed with comfort. Vanitas pulled out with a squelch. Ventus felt his hands being freed.

"I'm going to remove your gag now. You must stay quite. I'm sure you don't want the others to know what you just did." The gag dissipated and he breathed in large gulps of air. He felt the stranger removing himself from the bed. He turned as if to leave.

"Wait!" Ventus called a little too loudly. "Sorry, but um, who are you?"

"You don't need to know." Vanitas fashioned his clothes again and waved his hand creating a tunnel of darkness. Ventus' eyes had adjusted somewhat to the darkness of the room and could just make it out.

"Will I see you again?" He realized how pleading the statement sounded after he'd already said it. _Damn, I didn't want him to know how badly I want this to happen again. I'm awful. _

"You can count on it." Vanitas sneered before stepping into the darkness disappearing.

Ventus lied alone in the aftermath. He was still confused by what had happened but he was content. He knew it was crazy but he couldn't wait to see this stranger again.


	4. Mask

**AN: **I am sorry this took so long. We had a deadline on my college project that took a lot of my time. I also now have a tutor job and I do not feel comfortable writing anything yaoi in public let alone yaoi sex. Anyway, here is the awaited chapter. I still don't know I shall happen after the next chapter so please bear with slow updates.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Kingdom Hearts or its characters. All I own in this are the deviations from the plot.

Ventus awoke the next morning stiff. The stranger hadn't been exaggerating; he really would have trouble walking today. He struggled out of bed and managed his way into the bathroom. After relieving himself he carefully climbed into the shower. Deeming it safer to sit than to stand he allowed the water to fall down upon him from the floor. He scrubbed at the residue of blood and cum from his skin. Red gashes remained from the stranger's nails upon his thighs which slightly troubled him. Was he a masochist? Shaking the thought out of his head he turned the water off and finished preparing for breakfast.

When he entered the dining hall Aqua and Terra were quieter than usual. He worried that maybe his activities had been discovered but then he remembered that today was the day Master Eraqus was going to test Terra and Aqua to see if they were ready for the Mark of Mastery exam.

"Cheer up Terra I know you can make it."

"Thanks, Ven. I'll try my best." Aqua smiled and they all began eating. The day went as usual and both Terra and Aqua managed to win the Master's approval. Ventus was happy to be with his friends but he couldn't stop thinking about the stranger.

It wasn't until the night before the Mark of Mastery exam that the stranger visited again. He had just lain down and was about to turn the light out. He saw a rippling of energy at the foot of the bed before a black clothed leg emerged.

"Hello there Ventus." He hissed. "Did you miss me?" Ventus stared in astonishment. After a few days he had wondered if he had imagined him. The gashes were still faintly visible but he could have easily done that himself could he not? He allowed a half smile to form on his face.

"Can I see your face?" he asked. Vanitas was taken aback. Why did he seem so calm? He should be scared of him. He should be torn up about what he had done now that the buzz had worn off. Instead he stared at him with hopeful eyes.

"Alright I guess you can. Tomorrow it won't matter anyway."

"What happens tomorrow? Does it have something to do with the Mark of Mastery exam?"

"You'll find out tomorrow. Anyway, I didn't come here to talk and I think you know that."

_That was fast. _Ventus thought. _K then, right to it I guess_. "Can you not tie me up or gag me this time?"

"Someone's demanding today isn't he? Fine. But as long as you're so eager, why don't we change things up a bit?" Ventus gulped down his nervousness.

"Alright" he said timidly. Vanitas ordered him off of the bed and then sat himself down in his place. He willed the dark clothing away leaving himself bare. Ventus had been able to make out his skin in the darkness but not in as great detail as he could now. He longed to touch those lean muscles. His eyes traveled over the six pack downward. His penis rested limply against his stomach.

"If you use your mouth I'll let you see my face." He would be lying if he said he wasn't nervous about giving this boy a blowjob but he was oddly aroused by the idea. Very slowly he leaned in to touch it. "Wait. Remove you clothes first." Obediently Ven peeled off his white t-shirt and blue boxers. He could feel the boy's gaze taking him in. Resuming his previous actions he settled himself upon his knees and reached out his hand. He took the shaft in his right hand and stroked it tentatively. It felt oddly similar to his own. As he stroked the length he could feel it gradually hardening.

"You know it's not delicate right? Shit, haven't you done this to yourself?" Ven blushed. He had no memories of his previous life. He had not felt the need since he awoke. He tightened his grasp stroking the entire shaft a few more times. He then rubbed upon the head brushing against the slit. Very slowly he brought his face down to the organ. His tongue darted out to swipe along the shaft. It felt strange but not bad. He placed little kisses along it. Flattening his tongue he licked the underside of the head before swiping along the slit. He rolled downward hitting the frenulum. He flicked his tongue against it while bring his hand to cup at Vanitas' balls.

As he tasted the flesh he was amazed at the taste. It wasn't salty or sweaty as he had expected. It had this unique taste he couldn't put his finger on. _Do all penises taste like this? _He wondered. He could feel Vanitas' flesh quiver from his menstruations. With new enthusiasm, he brought the tip into his mouth. His lips encircled it slowly taking it deeper. It was a bit too large for comfort, completely filling his mouth. He pulled his head back releasing most of it before bobbing back down but less far this time. Ven removed his lips entirely causing Vanitas to sound in protest. It was cut off quickly, however, when Ven took his right ball into his mouth surely. Massaging the other ball in his hand he tugged gently on the flesh with his lips. His tongue rolled around it. Vanitas' entire frame twitched. Shortly he returned to the head taking it in again. He began to run out of saliva and handed the shaft with his hand for a few minutes. He then decided to try his best at going head on. It was a sorry excuse of deep throating up Vanitas finished anyway.

"Well that sure was unique." Vanitas spoke as he regained his breath.

"Now show me your face." Ven said with false confidence. Shrugging Vanitas willed the mask to dissipate. Ven took the sight of him in awe. "Beautiful." He hadn't meant to say it aloud and blushed afterward. "Um, I mean...never mind." He lowered his head in embarrassment.

"So you like what you see? Enough to continue? Not that it matters to me, I shall be taking you regardless." Ven wasn't sure how to feel about that last part so he simply nodded before climbing onto the bed next to Vanitas.

"This is actually pretty convenient. Now I can use my mouth freely." Vanitas reached out ghosting over Ven at first. Ven shivered from the brushing sensations. Vanitas hardened his touches grabbing ahold roughly of his sides. Leaning down he sunk his teeth into the junction between his neck and shoulder. He could feel the skin breaking and blood filled his mouth. He licked his lips pleased. He sucked on one nipple while twisting the other almost unbearably hard.

He raked his fingernails over his bare stomach. He positioned himself at his tight hole before thrusting in roughly. Vanitas was pleased by the painful moans coming from him. Yes. This was what he wanted. He wanted to carve his pain into this body, this soul. He had been surprised how easily it had been to taint this pure soul. He could sense the pollution that was slowly spreading throughout Ventus. _He is_ _becoming more like me. Soon he will be entirely mine. _A fleeting affection overcame him. This other half of himself was vital to his very being.

As he was pounded into Ventus felt a flood of emotions seep into him. _Where is this coming from? _He could feel so many negative emotions, anger, sadness, hate. But he could also feel a burning desire and dare he think precious? He wanted to believe that this stranger thought of him as precious. He made eye contact and was trapped within those orbs. _He hates me but also treasures me? _From nowhere tears began to flow down his face. He couldn't understand what was going on but it felt bittersweet. Without thought he reached up wrapping his arms securely around his shoulders. He pulled him down into a kiss.

Vanitas was beyond shock. He had not planned on kissing his other self. He was also surprised to have seen the tears, not of pain but what seemed to be compassion. The kiss was pleasant, soft and warm. It stood out blatantly from his ruthless thrusting. He didn't allow it for long, instead taking charge of the kiss by assaulting Ven's tongue. He even bit down on the slippery organ for effect. Ven moaned longingly into the kiss. The two rocked as their broke apart for air. Ven's arm remained locked around him almost lovely. It filled Vanitas with a mixture of resentment and comfort. Easing into a steady rhythm he pounded relentlessly. Finally they both spilled and he crashed down unceremoniously atop Ven. Ven stared down at the sleeping form in satisfaction. "I want to help you," he said in earnest before falling asleep himself while stroking the boy's hair.


	5. Departure

**AN: **Sorry this took so long. I became super lazy last week and I started my Dragon Ball Z Truth or Dare. Sadly, the only reason I was constantly reminded to continue this story was that I kept hearing songs that made me think of it. I have looked up information for this fic but I am too lazy to do as much research as I probably should. I don't really know anything about the structure of Eraqus' house or anything similar to that so I am making up things.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any of the Kingdom Hearts games or the characters. The only things I own are my creative ideas.

Ventus was not surprised to find his bed empty in the morning. Sighing he got ready for the day. He hurried down for breakfast. Aqua was just as nervous as Terra had been the last time.

"Relax you guys. I'm sure you will both make it. Really, I have faith in you." He gave them both a steady smile. Aqua returned the gesture but Terra still seemed nervous. After breakfast they all reported to the grand hall.

Eraqus and Xehanort were seated on a raised platform. Ven stayed over to the side while Terra and Aqua approached the platform. Ven looks over to see Xehanort staring at him. "huh?" He looked down feeling insecure. Did the master think that he was not worthy to witness the exam? When Eraqus advanced he straightened his posture. Eraqus gave a speech about how the exam worked and asked Terra and Aqua if they were ready. After they both agreed, Eraqus created orbs of light for them to battle. However, moments later darkness surrounded each orb causing them to act more violently. One neared Ven. He slashes it quickly with his keyblade. The two candidates had stopped fighting to glance in his direction.

"Don't worry about me. You two focus on the exam."

"But Ven you are in danger here. Go wait in your room" Aqua called in a motherly tone.

"No way. I've been looking forward to this, seeing you two become masters. I'm not gonna miss it now." Ven replied determined.

"He can take care of himself. He's been out there training just as hard as us." Terra reassured.

"Yeah" Ven agree feeling a bit of pride.

"Stay sharp, Ven" Aqua warned. The trio circled the hall slashing orbs as they went. Finally with the room cleared, Eraqus demanded that Terra and Aqua battle each other. Ven was amazing to watch their fluid movements. They both seemed so graceful and so much more skilled than him. His earlier pride had flown out the window. When the two were finished Eraqus announced that only Aqua had gained the title of master.

"Hey" Aqua tried to console Terra.

"Terra, I'm sorry." Ven said sadly.

"The darkness, where did it come from?" Terra seemed lost in his own world. Ven couldn't help but think of the stranger at this. The stranger wielded darkness. He came and went through portals of darkness and he treated roughly in a way no creature of the light could (or at least he hoped). But there was more to this stranger he knew. He had seen something from within his eyes, felt something in his embrace, that could not be denied. "Is darkness really as bad as Master Eraqus thinks it is?"

"Sorry. I need some time alone." Terra walked away. Ven wished he could tell Terra about how darkness was not all bad but he just couldn't. They would both flip if they found out about his secret visitor. He was forced to watch as he friend walked away in shame.

Vanitas leaned against the wall holding his helmet.

"What do you make of Ventus?" Xehanort asked.

"He's ain't gonna cut it. Someone's gotta break that loser in." Vanitas had been a bit surprised by Ventus fighting at all but he was still lousy in his book. "Not here you won't. I have to keep up appearances." As if thanks to the reminder of secrecy he replaced his helmet."I know that. He just needs a little incentive to leave home."

Ventus lied upon his bed swinging around his wooden keyblade. The bells chimed breaking him away from his actions. He jumped up rushing to the door.

"Better hurry Ventus" Vanitas advised leaning against a desk.

"huh? What are you doing here in the day?" Ven was taken aback. Not once had the stranger appeared while the sun was up. Besides that he had also entered through the doorway.

Vanitas ignored his question. "Or you're never see Terra again."

"What? Get real. I can see Terra anytime I want." Ven answered defiantly.

"Like now? He's leaving you behind. And by the time you catch up he'll be a different person."

"Look whoever you are. You don't know the first thing about Terra. Me and him will always be a team. You trying to pick a fight or what?" Ventus took a battle stance. Maybe the stranger wasn't as good a person as he had hoped.

Vanitas walked across the room so that he was facing away from Ventus. "Ah, grow up. Is that what you call friendship? You'll never know the truth unless you go out and look for it yourself." Turning back toward him he said, "Come on. What possibly could you know when you are stuck here, looking at nothing but what's in your tiny world?"

"I've had enough of this! Who the hell are you? What right do you, a _stranger_, have to tell me how to live? Why are you doing all of this anyway? Why me? Are you just some horny bastard who picked me at random?"

"It's not important who I am or why."

"Like hell it isn't! I demand you tell me your name! I deserve at least _that_ much! "

"Fine but don't blame me when you miss Terra leaving." He sneered. "The name's Vanitas. I chose you because my biggest wish in the world is to see you suffer. There's nothing else to it."

"Sure there's not," Ven huffed. He could tell there was more beneath those glowing eyes. He didn't know how he knew, he just did.

"Believe what you want. It won't change anything." With that he knocked the boy back against the wall quickly pushing his body against his. He took his mouth roughly. Heated muffles escaped their lips. Ven's mind blurred. He nearly forgot about Terra, reaching up into Vanitas' dark hair. Feeling the silken strands between his fingers he closed his eyes. A bell chimed in the distance bringing him back to reality. _Terra!_ He pushed Vanitas off of him. Without looking back he rushed from the room. _Stupid, Stupid_, he scolded himself as he ran through the winding halls. He exited the building just in time to see Terra equipping his armor.

"Terra!" He yelled almost falling face first onto the pavement.

"hmm?" Terra mumbled turning around.

"I…I"

"It's okay" Terra said mussing Ven's hair. He smiled kindly at him before walking away and summoning his airship. "Whoa" Ven said looking at it. Ven sighed as Terra zoomed away. Summoning his own armor and airship he flew up ready for his first adventure.

"Wait Ven!" yelled Aqua as she came running out of the estate but it was too late.


	6. Thoughts

**AN: **So, as I said before I skipped through a lot of Birth by Sleep. I found the worlds in this game boring so I am cutting most of the game out. Sorry but I do not want to struggle to write what I find boring and you will probably find boring to read. Still I included Snow White since it is the first world that Ven travels to.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Kingdom Hearts or Snow White.

Vanitas tossed upon the bed for the umpteenth time. Damn it! He was so bored. There was nothing to do here. Xehanort was no real company. He only cared about his own plans and was often gone visiting Eraqus. When he did talk with him it was mostly to spew confusingly on about darkness and light. Vanitas had no need to hear more about the darkness and light. That topic already consumed him to the point of nausea. He needed something to take his mind off of these maddening things. The Unversed that crawled upon the property did not help in the least. Every time his eyes took in their vile forms he was filled with such self-revulsion that he longed to puncture his own being, squeeze his own life out of existence, so that at least then his misery and self-hatred could end.

For a short while he had been filled with a sense of optimism that he would become one with his lost light upon the completion of Xehanort's plan, however after witnessing Ventus sorry excuse for a fight, he had lost almost all of it. The chance of their powers clashing was slim at best. Perhaps if he trained the boy himself. His mind wandered at this as he thought about training the boy in other ways. Their heated exchanges had granted him a small respite. They had given him a breather from his never-ending self-loathing. He had been able to direct these emotions on another, on his other half. The half which abandoned him but then seemed so willing to bring him back in. That be what upset him the most, the fact that this part that left him alone in darkness welcomed him with open arms, held him softly in an embrace. How dare it treat him as something valuable, something with purpose? If he was really worth such kindness why was he abandoned in the first place?

"Damn it!" He yelled, power surging around him causing Unversed to appear. Breathing heavily he tried to compose himself. He could remember the feel of that skin beneath, the feeling of soft light surround him, the pleasure of causing pain, but also knowing that in reality he was being soothed more than he was shaking the boy beneath him. As pitiful as it was he wanted nothing in this moment than to be in that embrace once again. He wanted to bury his face deep into the crook of his neck and allow those arms to encircle him in light touches. Making up his mind that he needed to escape this house before he really did bring about his own demise.

He had to find Terra. He knew it was silly to go on a quest looking for his friend who had promised to return shortly. He trusted Terra. He would definitely return. However, he couldn't shack the feeling that if he didn't find he would lose him forever. He needed to tell him that his darkness was not evil. It was a part of who is and he shouldn't resist it the point of desperation. It did not matter if Eraqus believed this or not, Ven knew it was true. He didn't know how he would explain his revelation to Terra without explaining about Vanitas but he just had to. If it came down to protecting his own pride or his friendship, he would choice his friendship. The Master, Terra, and Aqua were as close to a family as he had and it was the most important thing to him. His mind fleeted to Vanitas. What was he to him? He had thought that maybe, somehow, their relationship was moving somewhere, to something. Now he was unsure of what to even feel. He boy had only been treating him as a toy, had he not? Still he could not come to despise him for these actions. Even if the actions had been selfish they had still connected them in a way new to Ven. He wanted to believe that there was more buried beneath that rough exterior.

Ven entered the Dwarf Woodlands and noticed a group of tiny men marching with pickaxes. Intrigued he followed the little men into a mining shaft. "I'm looking for my friend Terra? Have you seen him?"

"Sounds like a tall tale to me? You're just a thief here to steal our diamonds!" A grumpy looking dwarf grumbled.

"I'm not a thief. I just want to find my friend. But if you want me to leave, I'll leave. Could you tell me where I can find some other people?"

"There's a castle beyond the forest" said another dwarf with a short white beard.

"Thanks" taking his leave he continued through the forest until he heard a shrill cry. Following the sound he came across a dainty looking woman crying on the ground.

"Would you know of a place where I could sleep for the night? I have nowhere to go."

"I saw a house right up ahead. I'll take you there. I'm Ventus, Ven for short."

"Thank you, Ven. My name's Snow White." She smiled softly. The two walked to the house. Ven left her to tend to the house while he checked the surrounding area for any food. When he returned Snow White was telling the group of dwarfs about what had happened to her earlier that day.

"While I was picking flowers in the wood there was a stranger there and he had a sword but it was like a key and then these monsters came and"

"A sword like a key? Terra!"

"You mean this stranger saw ya and sent his evil hoard of demons after ya?" The same dwarf who had offered directions previously spoke.

"Terra would never do that!" He fled from the room in search of his friend. While wandering he came across an old woman dressed in black carrying a basket of apples.

"Haven't I seen a sword like that before?" she mused.

"Terra has one. You know Terra?"

"Oh, yes. That ruffian pointed it at me asking about some Xehanort. My poor heart nearly stopped."

"That doesn't sound like him at all. Do you know where he is?"

"I certainly do not." The old woman turned and left. _Terra what did you do?_


End file.
